Getting started
There are so many people asking questions and feeling like they are out of the loop on what is going on with us trying to get guardianship of my 2 year old cousin Raven. So I decided to create a blog to keep people in the loop! Please don't be offended if you ask David or I what is going on and we refer you to the blog! It is so much easier and this way everyone gets all the information.
Now keep in mind I am not the best writer and my thoughts usually ramble and are all over the place. (Pretty much how I am in person)
So to start out let's start at the beginning!
In the beginning of June I received a phone call from an Indian tribe worker asking if David and I would be interested in taking guardianship of my aunt's daughter Raven who turns 2 on August 25th. She has been in foster care since she was 19 days old and they are trying to find a permanent home for her. I told her that David and I would need to discuss it. After talking with family and each other we decided it was a good idea! So this is where the fun started...
We started sharing the Friday visits with my aunt. We started the process to get certified as foster parents/guardians. Which included tons and tons of paperwork asking questions like are you and your husband sexually compatible? and when you and your spouse argue what do you usually argue about? (weird right?!) and we had a home inspection to make sure our home is a safe place for her. They checked things like if we had band aids or a fire extinguisher. And made sure we have a home escape plan that is visible somewhere in the house. Then came time for court....
When we got there (court is in Portland) and we met with the foster mom. She is an incredible person! She has become attached to Raven because she has been in her home for 2 years. For the first year she told us she fought for DHS to find family but they were only able to find my uncle who backed off. For some reason they were never able find David and I. They never contacted any of my other aunts or uncles so Raven stayed where she is. Now after almost 2 years of having her they have found us and want to place her with us. So she is having a really hard time with it which I completely understand! I feel so much for her but I have to remind myself that Raven is family and it would be better for her to be in a home where she will get to see her family on a regular basis plus my aunt really wants her with us. Okay so now for what they said in the court room....
First of all it was intimidating going in there because it was an actual court room! In the court room was the DHS worker who we've been talking with, Raven's lawyer, my aunt's lawyer, the judge and the foster mom (and of course David and I) OH! and my aunt and the tribe worker were on the phone. They started by talking about updates on Raven and how she is doing. Then the DHS worker stood up and talked about wanting to change Raven's permanency plan to guardianship with David and I. Then the tribe worker spoke about wanting to have Raven placed with us within 6 weeks. And how she had connected with me right away and how she was starting to warm up to David. Then Raven's lawyer spoke. He talked about Raven already being a good home and that David and I aren't fully certified yet so they don't know for sure that we are going to be able to give her a home. He suggested that they put the decision off for 60-90 days. My aunt's lawyer then spoke about my aunt not knowing exactly what this decision means that the nothing should change unless Raven is going back to her. (which by the way my aunt knows exactly what it means considering she has had 2 children in guardianship for almost 18 years....) Then the foster mom stood up and talked about how DHS messed up because they didn't find family sooner and that Raven needed to stay with her because she has become attached to her family. She said she liked David and I but she didn't feel like it was in Raven's best interest to stay with her family. In the end the judge decided to put off a decision until October 7th so that the state has time to get Raven in with an attachment specialist to see if she can attach to David and I.
We left feeling very discouraged. We felt like everything was being made more difficult and waiting to find her a permanent home will just make it harder on her... After talking with the tribe worker (who is my saving grace) We've decided to do a lot of research and see if there is anyway we can afford a lawyer. The tribe is going to get their own attachment specialist and in the meantime we are continuing our once a week (2 hour) visits in Corvallis. So here is the part where if you want to do anything to help we can use all the help we can get to do research on Indian law and and a 2 year old's ability to attach to new people.
So far we've had one visit since court. It went SO well! It was on my birthday so I would have to say it was the best birthday present I could have asked for! She has started calling David Dabid and she loves it when he blows bubbles and even started calling some of the bubbles Dabid. She grabbed her finding Nemo book and crawled up with David and on the couch and asked him to read it to her. If he got distracted she would say DABID! NEMO! and point to the book. She even let him put on her shoes for her. She has a 3 month old sister and I was holding her and Raven got jealous so as soon as the baby was out of my arms she ran over and said up Ninny up! (she calls me Ninny) She loves to show off her sunglasses and will model them all over the house while carrying my keys like a purse. She is such a sweety and she loves her sisters so much! Everytime we leave I feel heart broken. I count the days for Friday even though it's a pain to drive 6 hours total and for David to take Fridays off of work it is so worth it to be able to see her!
So that is everything up to date! Thanks everyone for being so supportive!!!
Oh and here is a picture or 4 of her just because she is so freaking cute!
Reading finding Nemo
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